APOBANGPO 💜
Hi! Welcome to my humble home in the interwebs. I’m Marie and I’m an ARMY—Jin- and Namjoon-biased, wrecked by SOPE, self-proclaimed maknae line babysitter. OT7 to the core.
If you’re an ARMY, I’m pretty sure you have a “recruitment” story. I’m here to tell you mine.
My first ever encounter with BTS was when I was in college, in 2014. Having very limited knowledge about K-pop (2NE1, SuJu’s “Sorry Sorry" hand-washing dance step, and the infamous “I want nobody! nobody! but you!” LOL), I have to admit, I found the genre a bit odd, as someone who listens to indie and alternative bands. So when I heard a classmate gushing about Jung Kook for days, a few questions came to mind: (1) Who is Jung Kook?; (2) Is “Jung Kook” even a proper noun?; and lastly (3) Is “Jung Kook” really that good-looking?
It took me 7 years to find the answer.
(Spoiler alert: our maknae IS good-looking, along with other admirable traits of course!)
From the baul: a Zepeto selfie from 2018—completely unaware that this cute alpaca was RJ HAHA 🦙😂
An actual selfie from April 2020 with a DIY-ed Seokjin bobblehead
Fast-forward to the holiday season of 2019: we were scrambling to get our stocks done for our weekly delivery runs. My sister and I usually play stuff in the background—a movie or a TV series— just to keep us entertained. During one of these runs, some of our maker friends tried to convince us to watch BTS content for fun. Personally, I was still hesitant about the whole thing. Was I just judge-y? Was it because they’re K-pop? I can’t remember my exact thoughts. But one fateful night, as we were packing our merch, we synced minds and agreed to watch the BT21 Universe playlist. I know it’s funny (because it really is… HAHAHA) that a part of what got us into the fandom are cartoon characters. But what piqued our curiosity was finding out that they actually conceptualized their respective characters(!!!) and as artists, napa-WOW na lang kami (translation: “we were dumbfounded!”)! HAHAHA! After watching the making of BT21 (and a bunch of “BTS being chaotic in the US” videos), I just went on with my life… until C0VID happened.
Just like many of you, I had many fears when the pandemic hit—my small business was just peaking then, so the sudden uncertainty of not being able to make any sale sent me in a downward spiral of overthinking. It seems selfish to say that, but as an artist who relied on shop sales as income, it made me feel really, really scared. During this time, we happened to be constantly keeping in touch with an old friend—who, apart from being a maker, happened to be an ARMY too. They had tons of recommendations—what funny video compilations to watch, what songs to listen to, and what exclusive content to add to our to-watch list. Since it seemed like we had all the time in our hands (joke’s on us for foolishly thinking that lockdowns would only last a month long…), we gave in and finally tried dipping our feet into the 🔮 MAGIC SHOP 🔮.
One of my fave Bon Voyage moment-turned-into-meme (from BV2 in Hawaii), basically me as a person too—so unserious 😂
My sister got pulled into the bora hole a bit earlier than I did. I honestly don’t know why—maybe I was in denial, among many other feelings. Every night, before going to sleep, I make sure that my phone’s fully charged so I can watch an episode or two (or three) of Bon Voyage, from none other than the archives Miintae HAHAHAHA (IYKYK 🤪). This nighttime routine kept going on and on and on… until I finished up all the episodes (umiyak). So I guess it’s safe to say that watching Bon Voyage (BV) was pivotal to my ARMY journey. That’s how I figured out the meme references, that’s how Miss Right and Butterfly became two of my most favorite songs, and that’s how I got to know them first—as Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. I thought to myself, “hala, parang ako lang sila?! 😮” (trans: “Oh wow, they’re just like me?! 😮”) They are just. so. relatable!!! During this time, I still didn’t consider myself an ARMY, I told myself “I’m just here for the shows!” (NOT.)
So after watching BV, I decided to dive deeper into their process as musicians. What else to watch other than their BTS docus—Burn The Stage, Bring The Soul, and Break The Silence. Gosh, I loved getting to know them! How is it that they understood my struggles too?
A screenshot from a convo with a close friend
Translation:
You know that feeling when you are looking for a friend group to join and you finally found where you truly belong?
That’s how I feel about them :’)
Oh wow, are we even close 🤣🤣🤣
Dear Class Of 2020 Spring Day performance 🥺
Then one June morning… (For context: during the early days of the pan de mic, I usually wake up at 9-10AM)
I suddenly woke up—no alarms whatsoever, didn’t even feel the need to pee (TMI haha). So I checked my phone to see what time it was, it was quarter to 7. I tried falling back to sleep, but I couldn’t. That’s when I found out their Dear Class Of 2020 commencement speech video was going to go live. I watched, unknowingly what’s gonna happen next.
Tears started streaming down my face when I heard Seokjin say these words:
Sometimes, I’d feel restless, watching my friends go on far ahead of me. And attempting to keep up with their speed would only leave me breathless. I soon realised that their pace was not my own. What held me together during those times was a promise I made with myself: “to take it slow.” I’d go on my own pace, steadily. From then on, it became a habit of mine to take extra time for myself. For instance, when learning choreography, I begin practice days earlier than others do.
If any of you feels lost in the face of doubt and uncertainty, or the pressure of starting anew, don’t rush. Take a deep breath. You may find that any moment can be turned into an opportunity. Allow yourself to take it easy. Take it one step at a time. You might discover the important things your were missing, and they will reach out to you.
You bet I cried a lot. Like A LOT. At 7AM in the morning. That’s when I realized: I love BTS. I tell you, it’s pure serendipity. I still hold this memory close to my heart to this day. As someone who’s struggled (and still struggling, TBH) to make sense of her situation, their words felt so reassuring.
Right then and there, it finally sunk in: I am an ARMY. Then the rest is history.
So we’ve come to this part… forgive me, it’s been a while since I’ve written a love letter. But here I am, mustering every fiber of my being to write an expounded love letter to seven men in South Korea.
Kim Namjoon, thank you for being generous with your wisdom and for teaching me that life indeed goes on. I’m always in awe of your way with words—how could someone be this wise, yet so approachable? You have this ability of making people feel seen. I mean that, you don’t know how much your letters and music have helped me battle my own inner demons. And for that, I’m proud to call you our leader.
Kim Seokjin, thank you for reassuring me that it’s okay to go at my own pace. When anxious thoughts fill my mind and I feel as though I’m running out of time, I pull myself out of that abyss and remind myself: “Allow yourself to take it easy.” These words do not only give me permission to take my time, but to be kinder to myself as well. You are the bestest hyung Bangtan could ever ask for!
Min Yoongi, thank you for reminding me that giving up also takes courage. I’ve had my share of ups and downs, of good and bad decisions. Your song is my anthem whenever I’m faced with a roadblock—a reminder that giving up on a dream doesn’t necessarily mean you are giving up on yourself, it simply means you’re giving yourself a chance to dream new dreams. You are the embodiment of quiet strength, thank you for sharing your struggles with us.
Jung Hoseok, thank you for being a prime example of what a friend should be: a crying shoulder, a listening ear, a helping hand, and a safe space. I’ve always admired how the members automatically cling to you, and that’s because you’re all those to them. I aspire to be the same, and with you as my baseline, I think I’m on my way to becoming a good friend.
Park Jimin, thank you for being a proof that having vulnerability doesn’t make you less of a person. I’ve always viewed myself as a happy-go-lucky person, but I can’t be that 100% of the time… and you know what, that’s okay. It’s okay to be mad or sad or happy or sappy. If I’m feeling all sorts of things, I will always remember that there is a person in Korea, in the city of Seoul, who understands me.
Kim Taehyung, thank you for always being unapologetically you. You have helped me appreciate all my “weirdness”—I only have one chance at life, might as well be myself. A lot of people may think or say a lot things about you, but what’s important is that you’re living your life without hiding your true self.
Jeon Jungkook, thank you for showing me the importance of hard work and perseverance. They say practice makes perfect, and whenever I hear that, I can’t help but be reminded of you—you remind me that if I put my mind and my heart into the things I want to achieve, then the impossible seems possible.
Bangtan, my seven stars, how could I put all my feelings into words? I’m writing this at 4AM, with this performance of Mikrokosmos playing in the background, best believe I’m tearing up right now. Last year’s Festa hurt me more than I thought it would—the dreaded dinner and the turn of events that came after—but if that’s what it takes to see you all together again, I’m willing to trust and wait.
You have changed my life in more ways than one. Whenever people ask me my ARMY recruitment story, I tell them this short version: what hooked me in are the members and what made me stay is their music. And that stands true to this day—I’m glad I met BTS the way I did and I’m even happier that I have their music to accompany me through every high and every low. Not a lot of people understand what BTS and ARMY have, but I get it now. That’s the most common ARMY lore, and it’s true—Bangtan finds you at a time when you need them most.
I didn’t need them 7 years earlier, when I was in college, eavesdropping a conversation between my classmates. I needed them to hold my hand 3 years ago, during one of the hardest moments in my life when I felt lost and hopeless. I don’t know what it is, but that’s the magic of BTS & ARMY. 🌌
TL;DR: I’m in this Bangtan Sonyeondan shit for life. 💜
P.S.:
Sharing a playlist I made with my favorite BTS songs! ♡
Bangtan really has a rich discography and each member’s personal music has different vibes too. If you are looking for new jams, go give it a listen! ◡̈
Link to the full Spotify playlist: apobangpo ⟭⟬ ⁷
P.P.S.:
Dedicating this song by Honne to BTS—the lyrics are spot on. :’)
HAPPY FESTA, ARMY! 💜
아포방포! 💜
아포방포! 💜
Borahae!
♡ Marie⁷ ☺
